I grew up excelling in academics to cover up some of my insecurities during my younger years. I’ve got deformed ears, my parents broke up, I was sickly, and I am effeminate, to name a few.
Passing from one step of success to another, I’ve made my family and friends proud of me. But on the other hand, I was subconsciously nourishing my ego. I’ve neither bragged nor boasted about my achievements. However, I’ve developed “internal arrogance”, always reminding my self that “Why should I bother myself with things that don’t concern me?”.
Without proper spiritual guidance, I was nurturing a proud monster within me. This made me believe that I am a self-made man. This made me feel like I am the centre of the universe. This made me think that I am always right and that I am better than the others. This false sense of self-worth has made me judgmental towards others. It was literally “all about me” at the expense of others.
When I embarked on my spiritual journey through the cenacle group, I was able to gradually detach myself from self-centredness. And through Divine Indwelling and walkthrough exercises, I’ve come to accept that all my achievements are part of God’s plan. None of which were attained solely by my own human knowledge, efforts or abilities. I’ve realised that all my worldly accomplishments are “borrowed blessings” from God’s grace, so that I may serve His purpose for my life. Now, it is no longer “all about me” but “all about God who dwells within me”.
Taking inspiration from the priest’s homily last week, the two simple words “IT IS…” could define our reactions to life’s situations. I could literally deconstruct the phrase “It’s all about me” into “IT IS _________________”, and I would fill-in the blank space with words that would unconsciously and inevitably speak of “all about me”. So we have the freedom to choose whether to add positive or negative words to complete the phrase. Saying either “it is GOOD” or “it is BAD”, would really be a reflection of who’s within the deepest centre of our souls.
From: Ryan Melliza