Divine Indwelling might be new or unfamiliar with many Christians. I myself did not know what Divine Indwelling was not until I began to experience the Love of God in reality.
I am a revert Catholic. As far as I remember when I was young, I was an active Catechist at age 13. As time went by, I started to ask questions about my life. I grew up in a family where there was no unity. I started feeling alone and I could not relate to the society. I looked God among other Christians, but I really did not find peace among them. I was looking for something and I did not know what it was. Until I started to doubt the existence of God.
When I moved in the United States when I was 15, I was still longing for a community of faith about Christ. I found a group of Christians in my school but they were Protestant Christians. When I went to college, my Catholic faith had totally vanished and became a “Christian” who did not believe in the traditions of the Catholics anymore. I got involved in this group of Christians who were charismatics and I was taught that God was within me. I was filled with joy. But one thing that I started to doubt was when they usually attack the Catholics because of their faith. Then I was confused. I began to search for the Truth. What is the true faith?
I went out to the world maybe I can find what was missing in me; but it became worse. I developed depression. There were times that I felt I was called to go to the Catholic Church and just sit in the pew and pray; though I did not know that Jesus was really there, but I felt peace when I went there. Then I wrote a letter… “Lord, make my heart to love You alone, so that I won’t be lost.”
As time went by, due to confusion and other “problems”, I became an anti-Catholic. I threw away the Blessed Statues, I did not believe in any of the Catholic beliefs anymore, I believed that they worship the falls image which was the “Eucharist”. I was against the priests, the religious, the Pope and all of what Catholics believed in. I started to tell my family to stay away from that faith, and be “born again”. I thought the Catholic was the “whore of Babylon”.
After about 4 years or so, I encountered loss of friends, financial difficulties, and all things that were valuable to me were gone. I was not in control of my life the way I wanted. Then to the point that I thought there was no point of living, therefore, I decided to end my life. Then in my room as I was about to end my life with a knife on my wrist, I heard a tiny voice as if it was screaming… “don’t do it or else you will go to hell”. I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination but on my personal encounter, I though I heard something and I got scared. I knelt down on my knees and begged for God’s Mercy for in a sudden I thought of Him and I had forgotten Him. As I knelt down, my right arm was stretched out reaching for God and my left had was pressed hard on my aching heart, because I was completely in darkness as if a vacuum was sacking the life in me and I could not and I did not know how to escape. It was so painful, “my soul was dying.”
The next day, I looked up in the internet and typed in “hell”. I came across a blog from a Marian Priest about Divine Mercy with St. Faustina. As I read the message of Jesus, He promise that whoever recites the chaplet will receive Peace and Mercy. Oh, I wanted that peace. Though I did not believe in the rosary, I bought one and prayed the Divine Mercy. As I finished praying, I felt light as if I was carried out. Even though the bad memories were still in my head, my my heart was light. Therefore, I knew that the Catholic Church had the TRUTH that I was looking for. I became a propagator of the Divine Mercy devotion.
I was thirsting to know more about the Catholic Church therefore I bought books to read, though I may not had really read them all. I prayed to Jesus to give me a parish church. One day, I rode a bus to get home from work. As I walked down, I noticed an old piece of news paper on the side walk then I saw the picture of Divine Mercy. I picked it up and I saw an invitation of the devotion and prayer request that came from St. James in Redondo Beach, CA. Therefore, I knew that Jesus wanted me to go there.
St. James became my parish church and I went there. I attended the bible class there. Even though I went back to the Catholic faith, I was still having a hard time to believe in the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist. One day, my co-worker asked me to house-sit her place as she went on vacation. I was resting on the balcony when I heard the chime of the church. I saw on the top, there was a statue of the Virgin Mary. I felt that I needed to go there. It was only 2 blocks away. As I got there, the church’s name was “Mary Star of the Sea” in San Pedro, CA. As I went in, I saw a door that had an image of the Host on it. As I went in, I saw the Monstrance with the Host. It was so quiet and peaceful. I knelt down, I looked on the Host, and talked… “are you real?” Then I heard a voice said… “return to Me.” I heard the voice internally and resounded my entire being, I felt the Love, and the voice was stern but gentle and very loving.
I became a propagator of the true presence of Christ in the Eucharist everywhere by creating a flyer.
Divine Indwelling Retreat Encounter
The Lord continued to lead me. My bible study classmate who was a Juvenile Judge at St. James, recommended me to attend the Spiritual Exercises in St. Peter Chanel of Hawaiian Gardens, CA. There, I learned about the where sins originated, frequent confession, and Ignatian Spirituality practice. I learned to meditate the Gospel the way the Catholics do which I include Mother Mary, Jesus, the Angels and the Saints along with my meditation. As time went by, again, I was invited by my parish friend to attend apologetics class at the Holy Family in Artesia, CA. In the middle of the class session, there was a lady giving out flyers about Divine Indwelling. I got curious. Therefore, I attended. This was the beginning of my journey in knowing the real presence of Jesus within me in Spirit, in whom my soul longs for and gives me satisfaction that I could never found anywhere, and will never find somewhere else.
During the retreat, I was able to know that the source of my life and everything that I do is God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit, who already dwells within my soul. I carry His presence wherever I go when the time I was baptized. I renew my unity with Him every time I receive Him in the Eucharist and I see how infinite His Mercy and Love for me. He made Himself available anytime and He chose my poor heart for Him to reside within.
It took me a little time to experience a break through because I questioned a lot. My mind was molded in the system of the world. The Spirit is eternal and unseen by the naked eye. Only through the spirit can I see the infinite goodness of my Creator by uniting myself with Him within me. A little opening of my “yes” in my heart to God’s invitation within me, like Mother Mary, who humbly said “yes” to God without doubt, then through her, the face of human fate had changed, changed my life forever and how I perceive people and all of the creation around me. Should I be every fall in despair when I see my weakness before my eyes, not anymore. It is fulfilled! Through Divine Indwelling of the Triune God within me has opened my eyes and my soul to the Loving presence of God. This joy continues on and I can only share how much merciful God to me is to others. Should I entertain negatives and keep the hurt that I encounter from others and around me? Not anymore. For those things, God invites me just to remain united with Him within for He hold all things together. Imagine if all people with be still and let God be in control, His Kingdom will be in completion already. Peace of the world can only be attained through unity with His presence within and to recognize His presence among others and all of His creation. Peace starts within me.
May the triumph of the Immaculate Heart reign, that is through living the unity of each soul with the Divine Indwelling within.